Celebrating four years of married life...

 

 

Today is our fourth wedding anniversay...

 

And I'm a little embarrassed to say that I only realised this morning when I looked at the date!

 

Looking through our photos my memories of the day are...

 

Being exhausted in the morning from putting everything together and of course all the emotional stuff that happens when you're just about to get married!!

 

The relief of seeing Paul at the alter and knowing that no matter what happened that day we would be married and nothing else mattered...

 

The relaxed and fun atmosphere of the reception where everyone danced the night away!!

 

We were young, didn't have much money (I think my dress cost less than $200) and we're not the type of people who go over the top.  The rain held off enough to let us get in and out of the church without getting wet, however then the long droughts were broken and the afternoon was wet and stormy.  Our photo venue was changed from the lovely gardens to one of the local pubs... 

 

We didn't care...

 

Our wedding felt right, just how we wanted it to...

 

and we have had a lovely and eventful four years!!

 

He's still my best friend, my confidant and my one true love...

 

Looking forward to the next 40+ years to come!!



Decision made...

 

 

Yesterday I resigned from my job...

 

And I feel so much lighter...

 

I slept so much better than I have in a long time...

 

I am happy...

 

I am content and confident that the decision I made is what's best for me and my family...

 

The colour has come back into my world and I am excited for new opportunities...

At a crossroads...

For the past week I have been stressed...more stressed than usual...

 

 Stress is not good for me or the life that is growing inside me nor is it good for the relationships with the people I love most in the world - my husband and my daughter...

 

The major cause of this stress is work...in particular my boss, his unrealistic expectations and his constant penny pinching ways with respect for not paying me for all the work that I do (he's not the only one with a family to feed!!)...

 

So I'm at a bit of a crossroad...do I stop work now to try to nurture what's left of my sanity so that I can be calm and in control for my family or continue to bust my guts for the next few months for a man whom will not appreciate an ounce of effort that I put in to earn a few bucks before the birth of baby #2?...

 

My head and heart both scream "Get out NOW!!" but in the back of my mind I'm thinking "Nobody's work is perfect", "I've only got to last another 4-5 months", "Will I feel lost or guilty that I'm not working while I know my husband works his bum off at work and not always under the best conditions"...

 

I'm meeting with my boss in the morning...

 

I have asked another senior adviser to sit in on the meeting as in the past he has said things in the moment that satisfy me but never followed through (I'm sure he never had any intention of following through)...so having her as a 'witness' makes me more comfortable....

 

I do not want to be confrontational...I do not like confontation...

 

I need to stand up for myself...

 

I need to feel calm...

 

I need to be healthy...

 

I want to be happy again...

 

I guess there are two distinct paths and I need to choose one...money or happiness...

 

Of course I know that leaving my job now will not eliminate all stress from my life and will probably introduce a new set of issues, such as living on a reduced budget but I'm chasing a simple kind of beautiful right!?!  Less trying to please others who are never satisfied an more time injecting myself into what's important (i.e. my family, my home, myself) may be just what I need...

 

I know which way I'm leaning but stay tuned for the next installment...

Pictures of me...

As part of Photoberfest Katie Evans is trying to get the photographer in front of the camera...

 

Now one thing that I've always known for sure is that I HATE having my photo taken and I NEVER (ok, very rarely) find a picture of myself that I actually like...

 

But the idea of taking photos of myself to make memories that I can look back on is kind of appealing to me...  I'm sure that in 10-20 years time I will not be as critical of the 27 year old me as I am now and will enjoy looking back at pictures of myself, yes the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY!!

 

Here's a couple of recent ones I'm just throwing out there!

 

6 weeks pregnant!!

So I definitely ain't no supermodel - but I am the one and only me!  And I'm pretty happy with that! 

The wall that was...

It's been a little while since we started the demolition of the wall between our kitchen and family room... (first mentioned here)...

 

But here are some pictures of the process...

 

My handy hubby with his trusty little helper Missy Ives...(loving that she's finally got enough hair to have cute little pigtails by the way!! and she refused to get out of her pretty dress to put on "work clothes"...such a girl!!)...

 

 

At times it was a little noisy...

 

 

But she was always there to oversee and make sure everything was going smoothly (loving the hand on the hip whilst casually leaning on the table!)...

 

 

 

And down it comes...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So at the moment I guess it's fair to say that our home is a bit of a mess, a work in progress...

 

Bring it on!! (did that sound confident?!? I hope so cause I'm a bit scared and daunted at the moment, but we WILL get there!!)